It came not as a kiss, but an email. I had forgotten how a betrayal from a friend could cut so deep.
A new acquaintance says he goes to Church every Sunday, and the “words” that come out of his mouth give the impression he is a faithful Christian. I had personally witnessed his words as we’d gone out a few times and compared notes on our different denominations.
I enjoy meeting Christians and engaging in conversations about faith. I was beginning to feel safe and cherished in the relationship by what he said, but I hadn’t yet taken the step to reveal my vulnerabilities, wanting the relationship to move slowly. I’ve learned that words are one thing, but more important are that a person’s words and actions echo the same truths.
But now my “Christian” friend’s email showed his true colors; gossip about a mutual friend, Jeremy, with malicious intent, designed to drag me in to defend. Totally, unchristian action.
I know that Jeremy was betrayed, but I felt betrayed too. I wanted to trust my new friend, to believe his words of faith. His actions through email overpowered the sound of his words. I am thankful I had set parameters, not getting too far into the relationship too soon.
Over the past three years, I’ve learned to set boundaries with the people in my life. Cloud and Townsend in the book, “Boundaries” state that our inability to set appropriate boundaries at appropriate times with the appropriate people is very destructive and is one of the most serious problems facing Christians today.
I am relieved that my powers of discernment and ability to set boundaries have never been better. It is important to be able to distinguish between true believers and false prophets so that you don’t confide in, and trust, the wrong people.
I pray that you, too, will be able to distinguish the sheep from the goats before you give your heart away.
Proverbs 20:19 (ESV): Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple blabber.
Blessings, my friend,