I've had boyfriends shower me with flowers, gifts, trips, and affection that lasted well through dating and into marriage. I struggled with knowing my heart but then also guarding my heart. The excitement of a new romance cannot be put into words; it was wonderful…I felt loved!
The emotions of the heart are wonderful! We all need to be understood by someone we respect, someone who knows why we are here and encourages us. Affirmation in a new romance is good. My mother described it as too much fantasy and not enough reality. She was right; when the romance wore off, there was always something missing.
Affirmation alone from another is meant to entrap. It puts stars in our eyes. Another thinks we are beautiful, can’t live without us, worships the ground we walk on. But in time, affirmation alone becomes possessive.
Now I know what’s been missing: the INSPIRATION! Someone who inspires me like the Apostle Paul—to lead a more godly life.
God’s love pursues us with both inspiration and affirmation, inspiring us to want to become more Godly, and affirming our ministry so that we want to go out and do what God has asked us to do. Our human love should mimic God’s.
I’ve experienced affirmation without inspiration, and inspiration without affirmation. Neither provides the unity between two individuals that God intended in our relationships.
Successful friendships, dating and marriage relationships only survive long term when both are present: inspiration and affirmation. Growth continues when together we serve God in His kingdom, encouraged and supported by our companions.
In Psalm 133:1, we read: “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”
Inspire with your faithfulness to God; affirm so that another Child of God is encouraged to do the work that God has asked them to do.
Blessings,
Agatha