On Being Needed

It is about having a purpose in life.

An apparition came to me in a dream the week before surgery for breast cancer in 2006 and I wrote about it in my memoir CHASING MY FATHER. But it isn’t about me alone. God has a purpose for all who are faithful as the Apostle Paul writes in Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”  

You just need to ask.


I heard the voice again and the white apparition appeared at the end of my bed, "Did you call me?"
"Who's there?"
"I thought I heard you call my name."
I felt the cool breeze again and knew who it was standing before me in dazzling white. "Well, now that you are here, I do have a question. Why are all my tests negative? I thought when you visited me last time and spoke to me about Jason dying it was because I was going to die too, in six months. But based upon the medical tests, it appears that I may live a long life after treatment. I had accepted that I was going to die soon and told you that I was willing to die for you. I even made sure that my will was up-to-date and that Curtis' children would be well taken care of. But if I'm going to live a longer life, why did you put me through all that? Why did you ask me if I was willing to die for you?”
The voice was clear, “I needed to know if you are for me or against me. Now that you believe in your heart that you are willing to give up your life for me at any time, you will not die in the next six months. I have work for you to do on my behalf and I need you on earth to be my eyes, my hands, and my feet.”
Tears started to well up in my eyes. I wasn’t crying in relief that I would live, instead I was crying because I felt needed. “Really? What could I possibly do for you?”
“Right now, I need you to heal and get well. Love me and feel my healing power as you go through your next surgery. I will comfort you as you rest in my arms. I’ll let you know when I need you to do something.”
Could I have possibly heard correctly? Could God really want me to rest and heal? I’d been prepared to do anything that He asked, but instead He wanted to delight in me so that I could become whole again.
With that, the apparition disappeared.
I fell back asleep with a new joy, not over living longer, but about having a real purpose in life, whatever that was going to be.

May you be blessed with purpose in your life.


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