We had great speakers at the C3 Conference in Nashville these past few days, but I had even more important conversations in the hallway.
I had an exhibit booth where I talked about my book, Chasing My Father which is my story of redemption and healing. One person asked me, “I have an adult friend who’s just now dealing with an alcoholic father from her childhood. He’s passed away now, but do you have any advice for her on how she should start the healing process?”
My wounds also started with an alcoholic father, but we all have life stories where relationships didn’t work out the way we had hoped. I shared that regardless of the wound, the healing process starts first by re-shaping our relationship with God.
After breast cancer in 2006 and a divorce the following year, I realized that I needed to first change my thinking about God. He wasn’t the god of punishment that I grew up with, but instead a loving father who was “well-pleased” with me. I concentrated on these statements to begin my healing process:
1. I am a sinner.
2. I am no better or worse than anyone else; we are all sinners. Even my worst enemy is not worse than me.
3. God knows everything about me including my sins and my every thought.
4. Even though God knows my every sinful thought and action, He still loves me.
5. I can trust that God will always love me.
6. I can trust that God wants the best for me as His child.
7. I can trust that I have a more intimate relationship with God than I have ever had, or ever will have, with a human.
8. Everything that I have including my possessions, family and relationships belong to God.
9. God will provide for my every need.
10. When I draw my last breath, God loves me so much that He will be there to take me in His arms to my next life.
It took years for me to stop believing the lies, guilt and shame that were in my head, and instead allow God to love me.
It wasn’t a straight path, but once I believed that God was my friend and protector and that my relationship with Him would always be more important than any other, I started the healing process.
I pray that you will put God first in your life. All your past, present, and future relationships will become crystal clear when they flow from your first love.
(click below for MP3 file)