"Yes, but..." People
We’re studying The FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES in our HOLY DESIRES class this week. A friend gave me the book three years ago; it’s been very helpful in teaching me how to affirm the people in my life.
My Language is VERBAL AFFIRMATION, followed closely by the language of PHYSICAL TOUCH. I relish a “Thank you”, or a written note of appreciation, but it’s interesting how the delivery of VERBAL AFFIRMATION can make a big difference in how I feel. I’ve worked on hundreds of committees and been in countless meetings; I’ve reported to more than a dozen bosses and had hundreds of co-workers. All these interactions have taught me that there are two kinds of people: those that say, “This is wonderful, thank you!”, and those that say, “Yes, but….”
The “Yes, but…” person makes you feel that although you’ve completed one job, you haven’t considered everything, and that you aren’t quite good enough for the task at hand. Whether it is a major project at work, or simply taking out the garbage, we all long to hear “Great job, thank you,” and that is all, not “Thanks on the garbage, but did you get the kitchen cleaned up, too? “
Much to my dismay, I realized that for most of my life I’ve been a “Yes, but….” person, grateful for a job well done, but rarely taking the time to celebrate accomplishments or even friendships, always racing to the next phase of a project, or the next level of a relationship. I’d wear friends out, never taking the time to appreciate what they mean to me.
In the busyness of our world, we need to make time for CELEBRATION. Not just celebrating the big things in life like graduating from school or getting married but the everyday things in life by affirming each other with a “Thank you for being my friend or Thank you for inspiring my faith!”
Stop this week and share two good news events with two good friends. Thank them for being in your life and then end the conversation there.
Blessings,
Agatha