August 25 is always a day full of memories. A good friend’s birthday, the day his son Jason died in 2005, and the day I received the call from my surgeon in 2006 that I had cancer.
I replay each of the thoughts with the sadness and the significance soaking through to the present year. I am thankful to be eight years cancer free, but re-live the chilling moment when I heard the words, “I am so sorry. You have invasive breast cancer.”
The story doesn’t stop there, but I relive those thoughts so that I am reminded what my life was like before 2005. It wasn’t a bad life; I didn’t have everything I’d dreamed of as a teenager, but I was comfortable and on most days contented. In retrospect, I was too comfortable, too happy, and too contented with an ordinary life.
It was August 25, 2006 when I had a visitor who changed my life. Here’s an excerpt from my book Chasing My Father describing the conversation on the day I was diagnosed with cancer:
“I slept through dinnertime, and around 8 p.m. I was awakened by a voice gently calling my name. "Agatha."
I was resting pretty comfortably on my right side, facing away from the door. “Curtis, thanks, but I'm still not hungry. Go ahead and eat without me."
There was no response, and I realized that it wasn’t Curtis’ voice I’d heard. I peered out from beneath the covers and was startled awake by an apparition at the foot of the bed, a figure in glowing white.
"Agatha, I know you've had a difficult day and are grieving for David and his family, too.”
“Who are you?”
“I’ve come because I have a question for you.”
“What question? Who are you?”
“Jason was willing to die for me, are you?"
Was it the pain medicine talking? But then I felt a cool breeze and I was too frightened to speak. The apparition moved closer and repeated the question, "Agatha, Jason was willing to die for me, are you?"…
I was wide-awake now and was angry when I realized that it was Jesus standing before me. How dare he ask a question like that when he hasn't been there for Jason or me in such a very long time? How could he ask me to give up my life when I begged him and he still didn’t spare Jason?
It was later that night that I summoned Jesus back to give him my answer, “Yes, I am willing to die for you.”
My new life began in 2006 and it is now filled with riches beyond what I could have ever imagined.
“Am I willing to die for you?”
“Yes, Jesus, every day.”
Blessings, my friend,
Agatha