“Are you dating anyone?” a trusted girlfriend asked over lunch earlier this week.
The answer : NO. Then the eventual follow-up question: “Why not?”
The answer is pretty simple. I get asked out on dates, but not by men who are real Christians. In fact, I’ve never dated a Christian guy whose words as well as his actions demonstrated his heart for God. All my life I’ve settled for a lot less, resulting in countless broken relationships and two failed marriages. After all this trial and error, I’ve decided to only date a Christian and to act more like the Christian woman that God has made in me.
I believe that a man should first have a strong relationship with God, and then he should ask Him for guidance on whom to date. I’m not chasing guys anymore, cooking them dinner, throwing them birthday parties or trying to trap them with physical intimacy. My life was transformed 3 years ago after my divorce, and I want to live up to God’s expectations. It starts first with God speaking to that Christian guy, and then that guy coming to fulfill God’s command in looking for me.
Then my friend asked, “You’re really serious, you won’t have sex before marriage, even after you’re committed to each other?”
“That wasn’t how I felt before, but now I am committed to no sex before marriage. In fact I can’t even kiss a guy romantically without giving my heart away. Last Summer a good friend told me to “guard my heart”…for me that means no sex and no romantic kissing. It just fuels the fire that I can’t handle unless I’m married to him.”
She had one more question, “What if you wait until you’re married and the sex isn’t that good? What happens then?” My response: “God wouldn’t bring me to that point to abandon me. He’ll know we are compatible. I trust God completely.”
My thoughts were so clear on a proper dating relationship because I had just listened to Janette McGhee and her poem I Will Wait For You. In case you missed it there were over 500,000 hits on YouTube and over 5,000 likes on Facebook in the past week. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs
Janette shares trying to makeover a less than godly man, deciding he was the one and dragging him along for the ride. But she has changed too: “I will no longer date, socialize, or communicate with carbon copies of you, to appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness for attention.”
Janette nails a godly dating relationship and marriage with Christ at the center of the union. Some of her descriptors of the Christian man: I will know because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom, your ability to lead will remind me of Moses, your faith will remind me of Abraham, your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel, your inspiration will remind me of Paul, your heart for God will remind me of David, your attention to detail will remind me of Noah, your integrity will remind me of Joseph, and your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples. But your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
Janette, thanks for reminding me what a Christian dating relationship looks like.
As for me, If God calls me to remain single, I will be obedient. If God calls me to be a Proverbs 31 wife, I will be obedient.
Not my will, but His, be done. I will wait.